Love is all rainbows and sunshine, as long as the honeymoon phase lasts, but soon sex satisfaction in marriage becomes an issue, which begins to haunt your personal enjoyment, your relationship, and also your professional performance.
Women and men alike tend to discover that sexual satisfaction in marriage can be an uphill task as soon as a couple enters their second year of a conjugal relationship. Do you find yourself to be well into this phase? This article is perfect for you, then.
In this article, we are going to reveal some time-tested tips which will ensure steamy lovemaking sessions every time you two are in the mood for a naughty night between the sheets. You just can’t wait, right?
Let’s dive right into the 15 tips that guarantee sexual satisfaction in married life.
1. Know Yourself: What Turns You On?
Sure, you haven’t been leaving any stone unturned to ensure your partner feels sexually gratified, but what about your pleasure? How can you expect to satisfy your partner unless you know what gets you going all night long?
One marriage satisfaction survey has shown that once you know what turns you on, better pleasure is just around the corner. If you are wondering how you can identify your preferences in bed, these tips can be your starting point.
- Don’t Force Yourself to Think About It. Pressurizing yourself can be the biggest turn off that exists. It is best to draw inspiration from your past experiences is the right way to go about it. Have you always loved how your high school boyfriend used to tug on your ponytail each time you embraced romantically? Was the night when you and your ex-girlfriend did it doggy-style the best sex you ever had? Why not try the same tactics for sexual satisfaction, now that you are married?
- Fantasies are Just Fantasies. Though acting on your fantasies can definitely be an apt beginning, stop a moment and try to decide whether they are even feasible. Every woman must have fantasized about a tumultuous night of passion with an aggressive lover and yet they shy away from trying out BDSM in real life. You just need to decide how to find the balance between reality and fantasy.
- Communicate, and then Communicate Some More. We promise that your husband wont judge you if you ask him to concentrate more on the parts of your body that make you uncontrollably horny. It is a little known secret that marriage satisfaction is quite achievable once the couple learns to read each other’s bodies.
- Discover New Fantasies. You have always been a movie expert and literally swooned the way Rhett Butler enveloped Scarlett O’Hara in his arms. You may have always found yourself fantasizing about perfecting the 69 position while masturbating. Fictional scenarios can be as realistic as you want them to be. Chances are, doing it might just leave your husband panting.
If you are wondering how your sex life is after marriage, take a marriage satisfaction quiz.
2. Kama Sutra: Staying in Touch with Your Sensual Side
Do you crave the early days of your courtship when you just couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Your dresser always used to be filled with those sexy lacy undergarments, rather than the boring pajamas that you wear at night these days.
Here’s the thing: sex is an art form, not something you have to do out of respect for Darwin’s evolution theory. If the entire Kama Sutra could be dedicated to the purpose of highlighting the sensual aspect of intercourse, who are you to doubt it?
Here are some more ideas on how you can bring back the sexual satisfaction in your married life:
- Food Can be Sinful and Sensuous. Did you know that food items masquerading as potent sexual aphrodisiacs were not just a popular myth, but rather a reality that most married couples swear by? From oysters to coffee and bananas to strawberries, the variety of options is frankly limitless. Next time your husband’s in the kitchen, try sucking on some juicy figs or lick the chocolate sauce from your fingers. He won’t be able to stop himself from taking you right there and then.
- Be Beautiful, Feel Beautiful. Parting with your comfortable T-shirt might have a more melancholic end than Casablanca, but there’s not much to do if you wish to rekindle the dwindling passion. Make use of that gym membership and treat yourself to some luxurious innerwear and don’t shy away from going all out. Think crotchless panties, frilly silk brassieres and lots of fun colors. He’ll be glad you invited him to the party.
- Enjoy the Music While it lasts. There’s nothing better than some music to get you in the mood. Whether you have chosen country pop music or cheeky romantic songs, it all depends on your couple’s style and story. Our best bet would be to play a soft instrumental track so that you can whisper sweet nothings before you push all his hot buttons.
- Something that Smells Incredible. Get into a bath together and use generous amounts of bath salts. Lather up the water with some lavender soap, so that you can play some hide and seek while the sweet smelling candles help you set a dreamy atmosphere, which puts the most celebrated romantic scene in the history of celluloid to shame.
3. Attraction, an Everyday Art: How to Hook Him to You Day in, Day Out
As time passes by, you hardly seem to notice how you and your husband carry on with your everyday responsibilities without even touching each other once, week after week. Regular non-sexual tactile contact becomes an imperative factor when you are married.
If you don’t wish to touch them while parting for the day, what makes you think you would be inseparable when you are finally reunited at night? That time when he squeezed past you to throw up in the bathroom sink after a nasty hangover doesn’t count at all.
Keep reading to know how you can touch and reach out to him subtly every day:
- Give him a massage when he’s least expecting it. It will let him know that his hard work doesn’t go unnoticed, but is instead appreciated by you.
- Don’t Ignore the TV time. TV time is the best time for some serious cuddling business. Grab a bowl of your favorite snacks and the most comfortable blanket you own and rest your head on his shoulder. Your marriage satisfaction scale will be hitting an all-time high.
- Hug, Hug and Hug some more. We forbid you from letting him leave home without a long and tight hug. Men, this applies to you, too. Women have to put in so much effort, in their personal and professional lives. Hug them to let them know that everything will be all right. We promise you, emotional intimacy will soon lead to sex and marital satisfaction.
- Pecking Makes Sparks Fly. Usher the old world romance into your life for sex and marital satisfaction. Lightly peck her on the cheek while she is on Skype with her family and trust us when we tell you that blatant public display of affection will make her blush brighter than a rose in spring.
4. Are You Making a To-Do List for Sex Satisfaction in Marriage? That’s Not the Way to Go, My Friend
Being an adult means you have to juggle numerous tasks all at once. Life might have already taught you how to keep drafting to-do lists mentally while you are preparing breakfast for your significant other, but thinking about the jobs you have to do next can be a total turn off when you have just started to get some action.
To make matters worse, the arousal levels of women tend to fluctuate a lot, and when your husband feels you are not enjoying it, he is forced to doubt whether sex is even worth it. Read our tips to find out how you can leave the tension of tasks behind when you slip between the sheets:
- Jot it All Down. Kick off the week by jotting down which tasks you need to carry out each day, so that the allotment of time for intercourse doesn’t have to be interspersed with thoughts like how to impress your boss during the next board meeting.
- Tackle the Odd Jobs. If it’s some household tasks, such as cleaning your bookshelves or finally getting that leaking roof fixed, decide when is the best time to tackle those odd jobs beforehand.
- Talk About it. Are you bothered by work issues and family problems, to the point that you can never concentrate on sex? Communicating your worries to your partner can help you cross that bridge together.
5. Playtime: Spice Things Up with Sex Toys
When you first got married, you instantly relegated your sex toys to that doomed room in the attic. Who needs a dildo when you’ve got your man, right? Wrong. Studies have proven that using sex toys during marital sex not only increases trust between you both, but it also makes it mind-blowing to say the least.
Are you wondering which ones you can use next time for the night of your life? We give you some effective tips right here, right now:
- Blindfolds: This is for the couples out there who have just started thinking about using sex toys whilst indulging in intercourse. When your eyesight is taken away, all the other senses are magnified a thousand times. Blindfolds literally hand you the opportunity of a lifetime by allowing you to arouse your wife like never before. Don’t feel shy. You can do it.
- Rings: There’s nothing better than an erection to bring all your forbidden desires to life. If you are having issues trying to keep your erection, just slipping on one of the rings at the base, this can help you in maintaining your erection a lot longer. As a bonus, there are many rings which have built-in vibrators specially designed to stimulate your wife’s clitoris. Are you convinced yet?
- Dildos: This is the real deal. These silicon or plastic objects shaped like a penis can help you skip the awkward foreplay with your husband so that when the actual intercourse happens, you can enjoy it more. Just remember to opt for a soft flexible one rather than a hard one, so as to get the authentic feel.
- Penis Stimulators: Boys, don’t feel left out. Though not widely known, stimulators for your penis are available, too. Rather than pestering her for a blow job before sex, get yourself one of these thin rubber sleeves with its assortment of firm ticklers and nubs which will make you orgasm in no time. Besides, if you think you need more penis erections, try natural and safe male enhancement pills.
6. For Guys: How About Showing Your Emotions for Once?
We know that not all guys commit this heinous crime, but the sheer number that do is frankly alarming. Just as pleasuring your wife is significant to you, she also harbors secret dreams to be the best you have taken to bed, which in turn contributes towards a sex satisfaction and happy marriage. Are you having trouble communicating that what she did last night took your world by storm?
Keep reading to find out how you can express your feelings in a heartbeat:
- Who told you that moaning is girly? If you feel that panting or grunting is more in your comfort zone, by all means, just go ahead. The sounds will drive her crazy.
- Compliment her on the way she kissed your inner thighs before giving you a penis massage. She will surely do it more often.
- Give her the space to be adventurous when she’s in the mood for it. Getting out of that comfort zone can be quite enjoyable too.
7. For Girls: Learn When to Say No
Don’t try to hide. We know you are guilty of this, too. Marriage satisfaction statistics are proof that often men walk away from the coital experience after having reached the heights of pleasure, while girls can’t help but wonder, “Is this all there is to sex?” Society has taught women to hide or curb their individual desires so that the ego of their men can be inflated to the size of a hot balloon.
Hence, women often feel too embarrassed to voice their opinions and end up faking moans, but did you ever stop and think whether it’s fair to you or your partner? If the answer’s no, here are some tips on how you can remedy the situation:
- When you are deep into the missionary position, try doing the things to your body which you want him to emulate. He’ll jump right onto the bandwagon and increase your satisfaction.
- Use flashbacks generously. Remind him of the time you went skinny dipping and the way he undressed you. Chances are, you’ll be spending the next weekend enjoying an ocean getaway.
- If he doesn’t take hints that well, don’t be afraid to speak your mind, but make sure to get it across to him in a way that he doesn’t feel rejected. Try sentences like: ”I would really love it if you massaged my breasts instead of squeezing them when you kiss me passionately. I’d faint.” You get the gist.
8. The Pregnancy Potpourri: How to Get Back in the Game after Babies
Doctors generally advise new parents to wait six weeks before having sex, but don’t think you will be the ferocious animal in bed like you once were just as the six-week forbidden time frame subsides.
So what’s the bottom line?
Read and follow these post pregnancy tips to guarantee marriage satisfaction after baby:
You’ve just been through a physical and emotional roller coaster these past nine months. Take it slow and easy.
- If you feel too horny to wait six weeks and your postpartum bleeding seems to have stopped, ask for your doctor’s advice for safety measures before you get down to business.
- Breastfeeding and hormonal changes can leave your vagina dry, thus making sex immensely painful. Use lots and lots of lubricant.
- It’s okay if sex doesn’t feel the same. Not all changes have to be bad. Believe us, Kegel exercises will be the savior of your sex life.
9. Try Having Sex When You Are Not in the Mood.
There are days when you want nothing more than to get yourself some much-needed sleep after a particularly stressful day, but what happens if your husband is in the mood after work? Give in to him this once and you might find yourself reaching seventh heaven soon after. Responsibilities can wait, love can’t.
10. Don’t Let Your Adorable Kids Spoil Your Alone Time
We know that you hate every second you spend away from your kids, but bringing them into your bed guarantees that you won’t be having sex anytime soon. No one likes being the bearer of bad news, but here’s the deal: Once your kid gets habituated to sleeping in your conjugal bed, they’ll never want to leave.
The decision’s yours to make: Do you want to be one of those surly and irritable old couples who never had sex after their kids arrived? If not, try keeping your kids away from your bedroom at all costs with these tips:
Get a Babysitter: There are numerous babysitting agencies that allow you to book babysitters at night, so that you can enjoy your husband’s pleasure as much you do your children’s company.
- Swap Baby Duty: Putting too much pressure on one parent can leave you tired, not to be mention it’ll be a huge turn off when you have baby poop smell everywhere you can think of. Alternate times when one of you has to rush once the baby starts crying and you’ll also have an excuse to enjoy an exciting night together.
- Get Your Baby a Room: Once your child starts getting older, they’ll feel embarrassed having to spend the night with his momma and papa. Save him the trouble by providing a room of his or her own. Your kid will be eternally grateful.
11. The Right Birth Control Can Make All the Difference
If you are not looking to have kids right away, birth control can give you the free reign to make your sex life more interesting. Marriage satisfaction inventory has shown that your choice of birth control can make the difference between steamy, spontaneous lovemaking and a coital session with both of you stumbling every step of the way, while trying to find condoms.
Here are some birth control options, which you should seek immediately.
- Birth control pills
- Intra Uterine Devices or IUDs
- Birth control shots
- Birth control implants like Nexplanon and Implanon
12. Boring Alert: Mix It Up Every Day of Every Week
As a couple, you might have decided on some tried and tested methods that get you both in the mood, but doing the same thing every night for the rest of your lives is a bit repetitive.
You don’t have to go all out. Little things like longer foreplay, spontaneously embracing in the parking lot, role-playing, having sex in different rooms or places, such as the floor or on the kitchen table can be quite exciting, or being open to new opportunities and scenarios can revolutionize your sex life.
13. Build Your Trust: The Couple That Does Things Together Stays Together
Haven’t you been feeling emotionally connected to your partner lately? One of the reasons might be that you spend almost all day apart being busy in your professional lives.
One way to remedy this unavoidable issue is to find things to do together, which you both love. It can be anything from painting your walls to reading books to each other or even working out if you two are health fanatics. You just need to start.
14. Porn: Seeking Stimulation From Outside
If you feel sex is something which should come naturally rather than being discussed, try seeking outside stimulation. No, we don’t advocate cheating at all. There are many married couples who can’t enjoy sex before they have watched porn.
Be open to viewing pornographic films together so you don’t need to communicate with your wife but rather you can just emulate what they are showing to the best of your capability.
15. The Impotence Crisis: It Might Be Time to Get Medical Help
Even after trying out all the above tips, if you find yourself not being able to revive your sex satisfaction in marriage, seek professional help. Therapy would help you get past your inhibitions and chase away your fears of intimacy. Your doctor would provide you with enhancement supplements, penis implants, hormone therapy: all these can be effective in dealing with your impotence crisis.
Don’t let the topic of sex satisfaction in marriage become a taboo topic in your household. Work hand in hand with your significant other and do everything in your power to bring back the passion in your life. After all, even happily ever after situations need some effort.